Jerome Benton On Ice Cube And Crackers

"It's my house and I live here." Well, Eliminator is still "locked out" of LiveJournal until his new contract is finalized. I have a press release that I will post later on the whole situation; it looks like my days as the host of this LiveJournal are numbered. Shit! I was just getting used to this!

Today I want to discuss crackers who listen to Ice Cube. That's right. White folks listening to Ice Cube. I'm sure most of you whiteys out there that read Eliminator's LiveJournal are asking your computer screens, "Why do you not want me to listen to Ice Cube?" Well, because, he's not talking to you.


Damn Dave Chappelle and his Stepin Fetchit bullshit, you white guys are ruining militant black music by liking it. Ice Cube is talking about you. He's talking about how you are ruining our communities. You are the white devils. I cringe every time I see a white boy rolling in his daddy's Honda listening to some old Ice Cube. Didn't you hear "Black Korea?" Ice Cube is tired of you crackers and Koreans coming into our neighborhood and then having the nerve to think we are going to rob you. Bitch! If you don't wanna get robbed, why come in the first place.

I'm sick of you whiteys thinking you understand the plight of the black man because you identify with Ice Cube. How can you identify with Ice Cube? He is a strong black brother that fought through adversity to become a rich and successful role model to his people. You're just a honkey with a trust fund. Listen to some Beck. Beck is what you should listen to.

Actually, Beck is part of the problem too! He listened to old Ice Cube records and now he wants to sample them and make bad white rap. You don't see no brothers in the Dave Matthews Band do you?!?!? Exactly! Stay out of our music, Beck!

Now, I don't want to be all negative here. You crackers are what makes this LiveJournal popular, and you crackers are who are reading my journal. Kevin Smith is a cracker, and he's the only person to put me in a motherfucking movie since 1990! So, I want to help the white people in their understanding of black men: First, don't try to understand. You enslaved us for 400 years, yes, some of us are still sore about it. Two: Don't listen to old Ice Cube records. Read a god-damn history book. Don't think you are "seasoned" in street terminology from listening to Ice Cube records. It's bad enough Eliminator does this, you shouldn't follow him.

What can white people do to truly understand the plight of the black man? STOP TRYING TO HOLD US DOWN YOU WHITE DEVILS!!!

THAT'S RIGHT. DON'T HOLD US DOWN ANYMORE!!! I'M TIRED OF BEING TURNED DOWN FOR JOBS. I PRETENDED I WAS WHITE TO GET THIS ELIMINATION DEPT. GIG!!

YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND ME? STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE I'M A CIRCUS ANIMAL!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF YOU WHITEYS SEE ME WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND SAY, "HEY! IT'S ONE OF THOSE DARK MEN FROM THOSE RAP VIDEOS!! LOOK, HE SHOPS AT THE STORE JUST LIKE I DO!! I'VE NEVER SEEN THEM SHOP IN STORES IN THOSE RAP VIDEOS." YOU RACIST PIG! YES, I GO TO THE GROCERY STORE. I ALSO TAKE SHITS AND WIPE MY ASS! YOU WANNA SEE ME DO A TWO-STEP TOO? DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M THAT DIFFERENT FROM YOU??? JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE MORE OF ME ON TV THAN IN PERSON DOESN'T MEAN I'M THAT MUCH DIFFERENT!! FOR GOD'S SAKE, I'M A FUCKING HUMAN BEING. I HAVE FEELINGS! I HAVE NEEDS! I WATCH THE SUPERBOWL JUST LIKE YOU! I FUCK BEAUTIFUL ACTRESSES, SUPERMODELS, SINGERS, AND HOODRATS, JUST LIKE YOU!! TREAT ME LIKE A HUMAN YOU RACIST PIECE OF SHIT!


Okay... I may have gotten a little carried away there... Whew. Racism just pisses me off that's all.

To all you white kids: Stop listening to old Ice Cube records, that's all I'm saying.

Jerome Benton
Onstage Valet
Morris Day & The Time


Okay. I promised a press release on Eliminator's status, and here it is. The official word from Elimination Dept. Headquarters:



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Elimination Dept. and LiveJournal Reach Temporary Agreement

September 8, 2006

CHICAGO, IL -- Earlier today Elimination Dept. head, Nathan Thurston "Eliminator" Cloninski, and LiveJournal's Brad Fitzpatrick came to a temporary agreement during contract negotiations that were at times hostile. Fitzpatrick, acting on behalf of LiveJournal parent company Six Apart, and Cloninski agreed to renew their current deal through November 30th to give both sides more time to come up with a permanent deal.

Fitzpatrick was optimistic when asked to comment on the new deal.

"I'm glad to see Eliminator stick around while we get some final details ironed out."

Fitzpatrick would not elaborate on what final details needed to be ironed out, but Cloninski commented on what was holding up a final deal.

"Well, we've just got a few concerns—each of us—that need to be addressed. Things like journal popularity, the content, the workload. A lot of little things that you don't think are a big part of what's going on until you actually sit down to negotiate a fair deal. I'm sure we'll get something worked out."

The temporary deal comes eleven days after Eliminator was asked to leave LiveJournal until a contract was worked out. The unexpected ousting forced Cloninski to ask Jerome Benton to take over the journal while negotiations went into overtime. Cloninski is scheduled to return to the Elimination Dept. LiveJournal on September 11th. Asked whether he was bitter towards LiveJournal for asking him to leave until a deal was worked out, Cloninski commented that the whole thing was overblown in the press.

"It makes sense from a business perspective. I've been working on LiveJournal without a contract since July 1st. It may seem like a bully tactic, but my leaving was a positive motivator for both sides. Besides, have you seen the utter shit Jerome has been posting? It was beneficial for both of us to get something worked out and get me back in there."


About The Elimination Dept.:

The Elimination Dept. is a highly popular online troupe specializing in satire, social commentary, and biting criticism. The melding of personalities is headed up by Nathan Thurston Cloninski, who asked a team of people to join in on the online fun. With such personalities as The Preacher, Manzoku, Huko Double Prime, and celebrity contributions from Don King, Zakk Wylde, and Jerome Benton, the Elimination Dept. has quickly become one of the most talked about and most respected online "communities" around.

Previous to engaging in online blogging and commentary, most Elimination Dept. members contributed to comedic, albeit crude, e-mail campaigns and offline antics such as scathing going away barbecues, party crashing, and taunting of the general public—the kind seen in Trigger Happy TV. The influence the Elimination Dept. had in this field can be seen in the popular MTV2 show, Wonder Showzen.

For more information, visit: http://www.eliminationdept.com

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